


Intend To Never Let Go

by candlelight660



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, post-season 3b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 22:57:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1796338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candlelight660/pseuds/candlelight660
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is not freaking out. Okay, he might be a little freaking out. Just a small bit but over all, he is fine. He is great, hep. He is so peachy that nobody on the universe have been relaxed like him.</p><p>Five minutes later, Stiles is losing it. Pretty bad.</p><p>OR</p><p>The moment Stiles learns Derek is missing. (AKA my headcanon for S4)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intend To Never Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking how would Stiles react when he learns (maybe he doesn't, no one knows at this point) Derek is missing in Season 4.
> 
> Also, Derek is really helping the pack with recovery. So yey, packfather!Derek.
> 
> So, enjoy my headcanon!
> 
> Not beta'd.

Stiles is not freaking out. Okay, he might be a little freaking out. Just a small bit but over all, he is fine. He is great, hep. He is so peachy that nobody on the universe have been relaxed like him.

Five minutes later, Stiles is losing it. Pretty bad.

He feels like breathing suddenly got a thousand times hard, his chest so heavy that he has to sit down. He hears someone saying his name but he doesn’t find the energy to respond, his eyes are fixated on the ground.

“Derek is missing.”

That is what Scott said. Stiles just understood. He doesn’t know how; perhaps because Scott sounded like someone had kicked him in the guts and he was trying to assure people that he was fine. Derek wasn’t just missing, not like before. He didn’t just leave Beacon Hills, he didn’t go away to get away from all the mess here or to help Cora or attend somewhere with Peter.

Derek was gone, gone meaning that he didn’t leave with his own will.

Stiles haven’t seen the loft so he cannot be sure of everything but he just _feels_ it.

Derek has been here for him, for everyone. He had been there when Stiles felt like he was drifting away into a darker place where he could never leave again if he entered, to stop him from going there and to make sure that he stayed. He had been there when Scott needed advice on werewolf things, held him when he felt like he was crashing down because of everything.

He found a safeplace for Isaac when he wanted to leave; visiting him twice a week to make sure that he is safe and okay. Hell, he even saw Lydia a few times and supported her.

Derek can’t be missing. Stiles is not going to acknowledge this fact. He refuses it.

Not after everything they have gone through.

Not after Stiles being possessed and killed people including a one that he will forever feel numb about causing her death. Allison is gone and everyone told him that it was not his fault. Not that he believed them because how could he? She was gone and it was because of the Nogitsune and guess who hosted the Nogitsune? The skinny, awkward, hyperactive teenager that you can always trust!

They were only starting to recover. It had been a few weeks, not so many just barely a few, and everything was starting to go on course; they were going to school and dealing with projects that made them take a lot of caffeine into their system and homeworks that never seem to end. They even started to care for Lacrosse, they tried their hardest to get a glimpse of normal. It was funny; considering months ago Stiles would despise what he had as normal. Nowadays, he would kill just for a normal day where he just woke up in the morning and everything went so insignificant that he didn’t remember any of that day the next morning.

Deep inside, Stiles didn’t think that he could be fixed. He still doesn’t. His friends believe in him though; Scott plays Xbox with him, Lydia visits him on occasion with small surprises, Malia just hugs him and lets him complain about his day while smiling brightly at him and Kira helps him with school things and also Lacrosse, that girl is surprisingly good at Lacrosse.

Then, there is Derek. Derek approaches him in a different way. He lets him self-loathe; he doesn’t protest when Stiles talks about killing people, he keeps calm when Stiles gets angry all of a sudden and starts making a mess of the place, he soothes him when he has a breakdown by holding him and patting his hair and stroking his back.

He doesn’t want to lose Derek. He is selfish, he knows that. He can’t lose Derek; not after losing so much and having so little left. He wants Derek to be their with him.

Stiles doesn’t know how it happened but he fell for him. He fell for the sourworlf, for the broody eyebrowed and leather jacket lover. He fell for the one who was beside him for all these time. He fell so hard that he forgot how to land. He didn’t want to remember how to land because landing meant that it would come to end eventually. He doesn’t want this thing he had for Derek to end.

He doesn’t have a panic attack. Panic attack would mean acknowledging everything that the pack is talking about. He just sits quietly in the sofa and doesn’t look up, no matter what.

He will have to acknowledge it soon, though and fast, too because he has to find him. He will research until he has find a solid lead that will lead him to Derek. Stiles won’t give up because that is what Derek taught him. You have to go, no matter what. You don’t give up because it is hard or because you don’t like it; you always keep going and keep pushing because that is how you survive.

 _‘You would be proud.’_ He thinks when he can finally rise from the sofa. He feels all eyes turn to him but he doesn’t look at them, he goes for his phone and calls Scott while searching for his car keys. He first has to go the spot where it all began if he wants a clean start. _‘You taught me not to give in when it gets hard because you didn’t. I won’t give up on you, no matter what. Not until I have searched under every rock and even then, I will start digging but if there is one thing I goddamn know Derek Hale, is that I am going to find you. So, you better stay alive.’_

Eleven, torturous days later; they find their first solid lead.

Seventeen days later, they go to Mexica because it is where all the signs lead to.

Twenty-three days later, they have Derek.

He is dirty and beaten up and barely alive but Stiles doesn’t care. He has him; he has Derek in his arms and he is still alive and breathing and smiling at him like an idiot and shut up, Stiles is not crying, you are crying. He definitely is not crying when Derek kisses him. He smells like mud and sand and blood but he can smell _Derek_ underneath all that smell even with his human nose. He can feel the heat of his body which is hotter than most people around him, even including supernaturals. He can feel the taunt muscles and strong arms; he can see the shining green eyes and wrinkles around his eyes from smiling. Derek Hale kisses him and goes to sleep next to him, holding his hand tightly like he never intends to let go. Stiles rests his head to Derek’s shoulders and tigthens to grip because he also intends to never let go. Not again.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: [talk to me people!](http://childofbroadvalley.tumblr.com/)


End file.
